Brit-Tan

Jock 2003-2012

2012-01-25T18:13:00.000-08:00

It was almost nine years ago, my husband was getting ready for a six month tour in Honduras and I just didn't want to face the time alone. I knew what type of puppy I wanted, did the research and was on the look out for a breeder to find the puppy that I wanted to bring into my home. I happened to see that there was a Westie for sale in the local pet store and even though I didn't really want to buy from a store, I decided to take a look at you. When I entered the store the associate told me that they still had you and that you needed a home because you were six months old and had spent all of those in the pet store, I worried about this and figured you probably wouldn't be for me. That all changed the moment I saw you. My first view of you was you bossing and chasing all the other young pups around, clearly establishing yourself as top dog and looked to be quite a character and a handful. I was in love from that moment and knew you would fit in with my family straight away. Everyone since then that came into contact with you fell in love with your cuteness and down right sassy attitude, even my husband, who when he came back from Honduras, you worked your cuteness on him, never giving up until he was the one who would buy you treats and rub your belly. We have moved from pillar to post during the past nine years and you took it all in stride, you have been with us whilst our children grow and have comforted and played with all of us, you were always such a good dog, we never had to worry about leaving you in the house, you were never nasty, you behaved and had such a fun personality, you were such a character. You have been my companion, snuggle bun and friend. Having been sick for the past four weeks I learnt today that you have cancer with a few weeks left to live and even though I selfishly wanted to keep you close I realized that I had to let you go because I couldn't bare to see you suffer after all the joy and love you have given us. You were only a little dog, but the space and void you have left are more than I can bare. I keep walking around expecting you to be under my feet or just trailing behind me, but your not. There is no jingle of your tags or the tapping of your feet on my tiled floor, just this empty space and feeling that wasn't there before. So goodbye my gorgeous white fluffy, tenacious, spunky little Jock. I love you.

The Sock Bandit

2010-02-04T06:52:00.000-08:00

Well hello there all my peasants, its been along time since I have posted I know, in my defense I have been really busy with life, work, school, kids, hub, house, you know how it goes. I also have been a little tense so did not want my blog to become a bitching ground, however something has come to my attention that is so serious of a nature and so diabolical that I had to share immediately so that maybe others can find the solution or at least avoid this criminal.

'Who is this criminal that as our Mama Tan so worked up'? do I hear you say' its the SOCK BANDIT. I bought a lovely pack of socks this weekend, wore a pair on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday then put them in the wash, went to find a pair of a certain color that I wanted and low and behold only one sock from each set came back, I searched the dirty washing basket and no joy. WTF who is this sadistic criminal, who by the way happens to have followed me from England because I distinctively remember having the same problem when growing up at home not only did we have the sock bandit to contend with, I also had a brother and sister that I had to be quicker than to get the good socks, there was a moto in our house 'First up Best Dressed'.

Back to my story, I was so concerned that this bandit keeps nicking my socks and I was so concerned with the welfare of others that I Google'd this mystifying phenomenon and was surprised to find there are lots of information on the mysteries of missing socks, one story did lead me to believe hope is out there though. So if you getting discouraged and beaten down by the sock bandit, who just out of curiosity, does he only follow me or is he like Santa and the Tooth Fairy and hit every house? Any-how's, there is hope as you can see on the following news article. Missing Sock Turns Up Safe.

So be warned people, don't let yourself become a victim of this hateful crime, protect yourself, don't wash your socks, don't wear socks or don't buy new socks and you will be safe.

Squirelization?

2009-08-19T12:19:00.000-07:00

Apparently there is a nasty virus going around, a sneaky squirrel is appearing in random pics, have you been squirrelized?

IMPORTANT UPDATE

2009-07-29T20:23:00.001-07:00

Alright peasants, so listen to this, I was sitting in my cave dungeon (otherwise known as my cubicle) and no, before you think it, this comment is not aimed at past disappointments I am here to officially state that I have totally given up the bitterness of being chucked out me office, lol. Bus is driving off.

Anyway I am sitting there doing me work, minding me own bleeding business when all of a sudden I heard (nee naa nee naa) or American translation ( woooo woooo) and who was it I hear you asking whilst holding your breath in eager anticipation, it was the Blog Police (those sirens were in the English and American versions, I spare no expense when providing my reading peasants with onomatopoeia's) any how the blog po po's otherwise known as Mike n Carie asking when I was going to update me blog. So with our further ado, here it is.......UPDATED!!!!! Ooh and a picture for you to boot, you wanna see the rest check out my facebook page. xoxoxo

Picture-depicting horses ass and underneath is Doc

Q-List Party

2009-07-17T10:52:00.000-07:00

Not much to report lately, I did attend a rather fabulous Q-list party last weekend where a rather fantastic old bag made its appearance (see here holding the Playboy purse, oops wrong way round, see here being held by q-lister extraordinaire ) , for more info and pics click here.

This weekend I will be attending another important soiree, I am going city slickin, gettin in touch with me cowboy self deep within, going to talk all yippee eye aye and other cowboy shit. We are heading out to Jacobs Ranch in Virgin to ride some horses, after of course attending cowboy camp, which I am really excited about, its going to be very western. Will post some pics for all my peasant followers to take a peek at. Then it will be back to completing some more class assignments on Sunday. Hope you all have a well nice weekend.

Cougar Lady In Training Support Group

2009-07-03T07:20:00.000-07:00

I have been informed by my camp advisor that there will be a C.L.I.T. meeting tonight for any ladies that wish to attend. It will start at 7pm at the Holden Hisgroin center. Please feel free to bring refreshments and any conquest stories to share amongst the Cougar Ladies In Training.

Hope to see you all there.

Happy 4th of July Yanks and btw Paul Revere was a tattle tail!!

Cougar Camp

2009-07-02T06:47:00.000-07:00

I recently read an interesting blog regarding a local Cougar Camp that is available in our fair city of ST George. I admit I was curious so I sent the Enrollment Specialist some questions about the course and they were lovely enough to send me sample certificate to tempt me to sign up with their classes. I was so impressed with the nice young man who has been giving me information, such a nice young man, very polite and informative I am sure that he will make some man a fine wife. Anyway I am definitely going to sign up and was so motivated that I have decided to go down to the hairdressers today and get me a cougar haircut, I recently saw one at the gym from what I believe had to be a graduate from the same program and I believe its a pre-requisite for the course. If your not sure if its for you look at these tips:

Women between the ages of forty and sixty who date younger men are cougars. These women are single, divorced, or bored homemakers and they come in all shapes and sizes. Not all cougars are drop dead gorgeous, however they do have one thing in common, they are self-confident and have a zest for living. Cougars are not seeking a man who will take care of them, nor do they want to marry. Instead, she prefers to flirt, and seek adventure with younger men. The cat wants to travel, go out to dinner and dance the night away. Being a cougar is not for every woman, but for those of you who want to venture out of your den and have some fun, then here are some tips on how to become a cougar.

Self Improvement:

As a cougar, you need to realize that you are competing with women that are younger than you are, so you have to exercise to build your confidence and your self-esteem. Therefore, commit to 30-minute daily workout.
Youthful hairstyle

Appearance:

A new hairstyle will lift your spirits, and make you feel youthful. Make an appointment for a high quality hairstylist. Rather than playing it safe, ask for a new look. A short hairstyle is great and easy to maintain, but let’s face it men prefer longer hair. A shoulder length bob with long sweeping bangs is always attractive. Be sure to cover any gray, with color and highlights.
Wardrobe

A Lioness knows that less is more, and their appearance is sophisticated. Plunging necklines need to be in moderation and in good taste. You can be sensual in a form-fitting top, and a knee length skirt, or the classic black dress. Your wardrobe needs to fit you perfectly. Dress to impress, compliment with accessories and a fantastic pair of 3-inch heels or flirty sandals. Men will observe your confidence, curves, and your body language.
Beauty

Stop by the Bare Minerals counter and ask for a make over. The makeup artist will show you how to apply makeup that is good for your skin. You will receive a natural look with a hint of bronzer. Your face will have a healthy flawless appearance. Complete the look with eye shadow, mascara and lipstick. Purchase the colors that are right for you. Wear your mineral makeup daily. When you look beautiful, you stand taller and you do the catwalk.
Cougars naturally smile; therefore whiten your teeth for a brighter smile. Refrain from drinking coffee, red wine, or eating any foods that will stain your teeth.
When it is time for the cougar to leave her den. She must take all that she has learned, and hunt for a younger man. Select your hunting ground accurately. Smile, laugh softly, and when you walk you need to saunter, hips gently swaying, perfect posture, your body toned, leg muscles defined. All eyes will be on you! Men will naturally want to get to know a woman who is confident and happy.

So if your interested in signing up for this course, let me know and I can put you in touch with the very nice young man who has helped me.

Lose Weight Now!

Warning - Transformers 2

2009-06-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

Well after the attempted revolution in this mornings Monday meeting that evoked feelings of violence from myself to which I am still trying to calm down and regain the sanity that I am sure I still possess somewhere. I wanted to let you know about something weird that happened at the movies this weekend.

Now lets step back a little, remember I am from another country so often find things here in the States very peculiar, nothing quite compares to living in Utah, let me tell you people, I like it here, but it really is like living in another country, Utah is nothing like the rest of the States, I do attribute it to being a largely religious population of a certain sect. This was demonstrated to me this weekend sitting in my movie chair at the theatre when a very nice lady came to talk to us with the whole turn your phones off, blah blah but then she gave us a word of warning that this movie was going to be quite loud especially in the beginning but it would get quieter towards the middle. My initial though was, WHAT A RETARD, THIS IS AN ACTION MOVIE DUMB ASS. I have watched movies all over the world and never have I had a warning for a movie, like we are too delicate and moronic to determine for ourselves whether we should be watching this movie or not. On a side note I did once drop my girls off to watch Benowulf. I took them to the desk where they take your ticket and the old man grabbed my arm as I was getting ready to leave to remind me that this film had some nudity in it. WTF I am European, muther F**ka we run around the beaches with no tops off, I myself have wandered the beaches of Greece topless and kicked Peanut Smuggling to the ground before, its very liberating and I apologize profusely for the image now that I have placed into your minds, just remember I am talking 19 year old perky knockers, not udders I have now, lol ( although I think my girls are still looking good), we don't shield our children so that they go off their rocker once they get a taste of freedom. I almost cut that MF.

I love the states and I like it here in the town I live but sometimes I am so annoyed at the people who think everyone should think like them and live in the same bubble. NO THANK YOU. No guardian required here, I am quite prepared to make my own choices and any consequences that come with them, for myself and my own children.

UPDATE - We have saved Mike from himself and his gaytastic taste has returned, thank the gaylords.

Intervention for Mike

2009-06-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION ALL - It has come to my attention that our beloved Mike may be losing his gaytacular taste and is attempting to buy some flame designed dashboard kit for his Jeep, don't believe me read here Mikes Blog

We must come together friends of Mike and have an intervention to bring him back to the world of taste, we love him and we need give him our support through this trying time that he is experiencing.

So we shall grab him tonite, intervene and then re program him back to the Mike we love. Stay strong Brother we are on our way.

Sad day and salute to the Tide to Go Pen

2009-06-26T06:37:00.000-07:00

Well, what a weird and sad day it was yesterday. It was like your childhood was snatched away. No matter what you thought about MJ for those of us who are older he has been such a permanent fixture in our lives, it is kinda hard to comprehend that he is gone, I like many people loved the "black Jackson' era, watched him grow (god now my age is telling) and loved all the ways he stimulated our imaginations with his videos, in the earlier days his eccentricity was kinda cool but then it just got plain weird. So I am sure his legacy will be somewhat like Elvis, we will remember the good years, the early years, weirdness aside, he did contribute so much to the music industry and I will be sad to see that talent gone.

On a more positive note, I would like to give a big shout out to the Tide to Go Pen gods, I must be the most messy person out there, whilst struggling with the bloody bio metric thumb scan to get into the office this morning, juggling my cup of tea, laptop and gorgeous designer handbag I sloshed me tea on, of course my white shirt, it would never have happened had I been wearing black. White shirt god be damned. Once I made it to my trusty desk, i thought to myself "s'cuse me while I whip this out" and out came my trusty Tide to Go pen, I never leave home without it. Tea stain is gone. YAY oh and its Friday and Payday to boot, double YAY!!

Hump Day

2009-06-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

Today is hump day, yay. No I don't mean go out and shag someone, you dirty minded bleeders, I mean its Wednesday and it couldn't come soon enough for me. Oh to have a job where everything is calm and pleasant and positivity flows around you all day long. Well that ain't going to happen so all I can do is celebrate hump day.

On a separate note for those of you who have witnessed my mancave, hear this hot off the press news. IT'S GONE, GONE, GOne, Gone, gone. Did someone hear an echo? Look peasants, its a sad life I lead sometimes, give a cougar in training some slack and be happy that the Mancave, soon to be referred to as the media room has GONE, GONe, GOne, Gone, gone and I am as happy as a pig in s**t to have it gone, thanks to my wonderful hub who is spending a week of his leave redecorating, luv ya babe.

So have a fab-u-less day peasants it will soon be Friday.

Lose Weight Now!

Po Po Ho

2009-06-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

Just lately I seem to have been having a strong relationship with the Po Po ( sorry recently watched Madea Goes to Jail and am in love with the Po Po phrase. Tim got pulled over in L.A in my car, I haven't mentioned it, but I got pulled over two weeks ago by a scary looking bike cop and I don't mean the ching ching pull over get in the basket kind, I mean the motorbike cop who leaned in my window with his mirror glasses and deep I am going to F**K you up if you don't respect my authority type. For not fully pulling into the left lane when I made a left turn, please..... don't you have real criminals to go and bother. Anyway driving down River Road Saturday I saw in my rear view mirror a little old codger in a big spanking Cadillac drift over from his right lane into the left lane which was occupied by a small Hyundai, I immediately pulled over as I remember that when I got swiped by some twat who ran a red light, if it hadn't been for a witness, I would have had a hard time proving that I wasn't in the wrong. Anyhow I digress, so..... I pulled over, and to my surprise the car that had been hit, came speeding past me (yes I got the plates, there is no hiding from MamaTan's beady little eyes) and then the Cadillac passed me so I figured WTF and drove off to go bout me business. Picked up my package and then toddled off to Target only to find the little old man parked off to the side of the road, so I stopped to help, and long story short I am now a material witness and my testimony could have detrimental effects to the outcome of the case. Ok, slight exaggeration, still don't understand why the car that was hit didn't stop, but I gave the plates to the Po Po and unfortunately had to tell the Po Po that it was the little old 87 year old man that swerved into the other lane. My goodness he could hardly see over the dash. So there you have it, big shout out to the Po Po who are starting to know me by my first name.

2009-06-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

So i have lost 10 and half pounds so far in my first 21 days, everyone keeps asking me where I bought the drops so i thought I would hook you all up, click on the banner below and all will be revealed.

Lose Weight Now!

Remember, Word to the Wise

2009-06-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze up and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are:

* Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
* Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
* And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

NOW GO FORTH AND SPREAD THE WORD, MY PEASANT FRIENDS!!

Bitchin Skills

2009-06-19T07:32:00.000-07:00

Well hello their my peasant followers, you may have noticed a different layout to my blog, I am trying to improve my limited coding skills by using templates and then manipulating them to look arse kicking, with my trusty assistant and side kick noobiesblog I am learning how to edit XML. So for those of you who looked at my blog last nite and saw that I had accidentally made my font the same color as the background, I would like to mention that my official response is that I did this on purpose so that you would have to interact with my blog and hover over the writing to see the content. Your not buying it I hear you say, ok I admit I am a plonker and jacked it up, 'don't judge me people', but as you can see from this morning my Jedi Master has given me some pointers and showed me how to fix it. I dont like this background and am going to find another one but its been a good place to start to learn how to manipulate the code.

Ok so thats all I got for today, nothing funny, witty or plonkerish. There will be no clashamaclabbering here today.

Special High Intensity Training

2009-06-18T07:33:00.001-07:00

I was given this memo a few years ago, but it is right funny and sometimes the older jokes are the best, so for those of you who live under a rock, let me share with you, one of my favorite joke memos:

S.H.I.T.

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FR: MANAGEMENT
RE: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Memorial Weekend

2009-05-28T18:53:00.001-07:00

Alright peasants, what did you do this weekend? Enough about you this is about me, so I will tell you, we were supposed to go camping but the weather was supposed to rain, so we decided about 7:30pm Friday night to drive down to LA and go to Universal Studios. ooooooooohhh I hear you saying, yes its true, we stayed in a pretty nice hotel in Hollywood to which we arrived at around 4am in the morning grabbed a a few hours of sleep then off we went to Universal.

Now I have done Disney before and Magic Mountain, but I have to say this was my favorite, I loved all the special effect rides, Jurassic Park was awesome, we went on it twice, yes twice I say as the park wasn't too busy. My favorite ride though I have to say was the Studio tour, having never been on or in a studio, I was fascinated, for example, did you know that the backdrop for Wysteria Lane from Desperatete Housewives is the same backdrop used for many other movies such as 'The Burbs' I had a blast, if you haven't been I highly recommend it. It is nto a huge park but that is good, too many rides can e overwhelming. Another highlight was they had a Fast and the Furious exhibiition with a cut out of Vin Diesel, I trid to grab it to take him home with me, but alas was stopped at the gates.

On the way back to the hotel though we were pulled over by the LAPD, talk about poopin my
pants, all I could think of was that we were going to be on Cops. Apparently, the valet had turned off my automatic lights and so we were driving with lights, great!!!! I have to say though they were very pleasant whilst they gave Tim a sobriety test, which he passed I might add. We felt kinda stupid, how could we not have known we had no lights on, well in our defense, I have never turned them off since the day I bought the car almost 2 years ago, and the interior lights were on, oh well. Tim and the cop swapped some army stories and they let us on our merry way.

We decided to pop to Knotts Berry Farm the next day seeing as we were so close, fun park, again not busy. I have been after Tim to have a family protrait done for a couple of years but nooooo, we cant have a nice classy pic, he wants to get dresed up in western wear and have a pic took of that, which I will scan and post in the next couple of days so you can have a laugh. On our last day we drove down the Hollywood walk of fame, which brings me to my ironic story. All weekend we drove through Hollywood, their are lights every block and of course lots of traffic and we always hit every red light, so instead of walking down Hollywood Blvd I said "lets drive" figuring we could hang out the window and take a quicker look without abusing my poor tired old feet, frankly I was knackered. Wouldn't you know it though, we drove down, no traffic and every light was green. WHY DO THINGS LIKE THT HAPPEN?? Hope you all had fun, I certainly did.

For the Good of Mankind

2009-05-18T18:58:00.000-07:00

This past weekend my hub decided to buy me a replacement vacuum, hereafter referred to the term hoover, which is the English term we call all vacuums. So my hoover which funnily enough is a Hoover product has been konking for some time now, I have been slowly and methodically working on my hub for a Dyson. My mum has always bought them ever since they first came out in England some years ago, she used to have three German Shepherds so I often saw first hand how good this space aged looking hoover was (well they did look abit spacy when they first came out).

We drove down to the BX on Nellis so I could get one for a decent price and tax free, lets not discuss the cost of tank of gas that it cost to drive down there, I feel like I got a good deal and that's all that counts.

I have been working on him for a few months, he is not what I would call cheap by any means, but in his world its just a hoover and not worth that type of cash, if it had been a car stereo, which I know he is pandering after in return for his generous hoover purchase (oh yes hub, I see your deceitful ways, lol) anyway he wouldn't bat an eyelid over spending that type of dosh for something like that, but this was different, because its not something he uses.

So anyhow my charm won him over and I got it home and it is FAB-U-Less, which brings me to my point for today, the story of the Dyson is that Mr Dyson was at home one day and decided to hoover up, was probably instructed by his wife more like, anyhow whilst hoovering he basically thought it was crap and had no suction so he devoted his life to creating the perfect hoover, after many prototypes voila, Bob's your uncle, here we have the fabulous vacuum and a good load of ole cash he made to boot.

You see girls, the good men could do for mankind if they just once in a while did a bit of housework, if they were inclined to get mucking in around the house, who knows what new confusing conundrums could be solved with innovative creations. I know I have had a good talking to my hub about the benefits of him helping around the house and how it may inspire him to solve world hunger, or at the very least create a device that would refill the toilet paper holder when empty instead of the mum-o-matic that is in my house.

So lets get those men digging into some elbow grease for the sake of mankind and its requirement for global improvement.

Are You a Bottom Feeder

2009-05-11T16:52:00.000-07:00

Hello peasants, just kidding. Recently I have been on a little mid life crisis, finding myself in a rut which you have no doubt read and thought I must be losing it, fair not fair people I am actually feeling alot better about a lot of things and I believe its down to simply changing my mind set about certain things. Now what is Tan going on about now, I hear you cry. Well I will reveal my secret, send $10 to the following address and you too can find riches beyond your imagination.

Alright funning aside, my hub bought me this book about a year ago, called 'Fit to Live' by Pamela Peeke. Now I would never nor have I ever wasted my money on a so called self help book, because I know everything and well thats that, or so I thought. When my hub first bought me this book I skimmed through it and there was a bunch of waffle about losing weight and being fit to live life, so I did what most people do with diet and advice books, I threw it in my bedside drawer never to be heard of again. That is, until I move house, whilst unpacking I skimmed through it and for some unknown reason, proablby my changed state of mind I began reading and 'Bobs your Uncle' it kinda made sense, so today I wanted to share soemthing that is in the book that so far I have found so important when it comes to dealing with life, issues, ruts, weight, you name it it all comes under this and that is to ask yourself "are you a bottom feeder".

The basics are that all of us, women especially are hardwired to spend large amounts of time in our dark place, when change comes at us or lifes issues we spend a great deal of time pushing against it or denying it all together. Rather than put our energy towards finding a solution we go to our dark place and bottom feed. We pout, blow our top, stuff our face or dissociate.

Here are 5 Bottom Feeding Habits - Which one are you?

1. Bitch, Moan and Whine (BMW): Why me? Its not fair. I shouldn't have to go through this.

2. The Mental Cuisinart: I can't believe she said that about me. Why would she do that? Am i a bad person? Why hasn't she called?

3. Total Stress-Out: Oh my god...not another change! How am I going to cope with this on top of everything else? I can't deal with this. I can't handle on more thing!

4. Going Postal: How dare they do this to me? No one treats me this way. I'll show them.

5. The Scarlett O'Hara: I'm going to ignore this. If I just pretend it isn't happening, maybe it will go away. Any day now, things are going to go back to the way they were.

Now if you tend to be one of these thats pretty healthy, but we should all try to stop bottom feeding and devote more energy to changing what is bothering us. If you fit into all 5 then you will need lots more help that you can get here. On a side note a quick disclaimer, I do understand that there are certain things in life that we never get over and are beyond imagination to deal with, by that I am talking about death of child, family member murdered rape, etc. If we are all honest with ourselves most of us have not had to deal with these serious types of crisis, I myself have a good friend who lost a baby and each year she re lives it and I wish there was something I could do to take that hurt away, I can't but I can be there for her if she needs it, but, if like most of us we bottom feed on simple things like people at work, our job, our spouses then let be honest and say that these all have solutions, maybe not the easiest, but with drive and determination we can turn our bottom feeding habits into something positive for ourselves.

Parade of Homes - Vegas PT2

2009-05-09T16:55:00.000-07:00

Mike and I decided that because we had only gotten to see half the houses on the Parade of Homes tour last weekend and we still had our tickets that we would go again this weekend, we just got back and I'd like to point out that I in no way miss living in Vegas, its great to live this close, pop down have a visit and then drive back. Anyhow I digress, the first couple of houses we looked at of the 6 left we were a bit bummed, they had fantastic views, million dollar views, but we didn't see anything that wowed us like last weekends, pool under the floor for instance, that the problem when you go on these tours after a while one house looks pretty much like the next and you adjust to the luxury around you. However we did see some fabulous houses, and thank fully the very last house we looked at, which is located next to Wayne Newton's house/land/estate whatever you wish to call it was the creme de la creme, out of today's home anyway. My favorite is still house number two which also happens to be the only home that did not allow pictures to be taken. Anyhow here are some pics of what we saw today.

This was on of my favorite things we saw today, this waterfall runs through the center of the house which has three floors, it was fabulous.

This Bath was also Tanbulous, the bath is built into the floor and look to the left at the nifty faucet, it runs down that and into the tub and get a load of the light fixture above the tub. It was the ensuite for this master bedroom on the right.

This house was my favorite from today, I am so about the indoor outdoor living, I love the houses that allow you to fully open walls and have the pool, lounge area whatever just be included in your living space.

Ooh here is the house as you first walk in. - Right, thats the jacuzzi that is at then end, picture of that below.

This is the back pool and lounge area, there is also one of the many nook patios, one which had three flat screen TV's clustered together. Not shown here.

Dont' forget your jacuzzi and outdoor bed, no 12 million dollar house would be without it.

Ooh and the cherry on top of this multi million dollar pad, you can get to walk out on one of your many balconies and on one side view the strip and the other view Wayne Newton Stables. We saw many fun things today, jacuzzi's, raquetball courts inside, fabulous furniture and light fixtures, and Wayne Newtons Stables, it don't get better than that.

Parade of Homes - Vegas

2009-05-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

Mike, Trevor and I drove down to Vegas this morning, to check out the Vegas Parade of Homes, for the past two years Mike has gotten me hooked onto the local one we have here in Saint George, UT and I usually enjoy these immensley, its always fun to poke around rich folks houses, but I have to say that nothing compared to the bling blingy houses we looked at today, there are only 12 houses on the route, and one of those is just a $400,000 pool and tickets are more than double, but it was well worth it. You can really imagine how rich peeps get down vegas style by looking through these homes.

We started out renting a car, we were trying to get a convertible but they were out, so we got a shiny red Mustang. Looked nice from the outside, but I don't think I would ever buy one, kinda cheap looking on the inside, anyhow we got to Vegas started to look at the first 6 as one group is north vegas the other south, we only got to look at the northern six, but are thinking to go back down next Saturday to finish the others off.

Its hard to pick out what I liked the most today, the pool that goes under the dining room table, the jacquzzi in the living room, the floating bed with a glass floor, of course I love every pool that I saw, the best house wouldn't allow pictures inside, but it was a gorgeous house that had 10,000 sq ft of space but when you pulled back all the window it became 20,000 sq ft because the pool that surrounds that back becomes inside/outside living space with a water fall that you can show movies and light shows on and top it all off the view of the city and the strip.

This is a Jacuzzi that sits in the middle of the main room - below

The jacuzzi is just behind this sofa in the picture above and you can just make out the water fall that runs from the second floor into that pool just outside the massive patio doors that full open up the room.(Above) This is the floating bed, there are no legs under it and the floor is glass along with the side of the wall (headboard area)You all know what a pool fanatic I am, I don't care too much about the inside decor but if it has a kicking outside entertaining area and pool then I am in love. As usual my batteries on my camera ran out, because I cannot find my back up batteries since we moved house. Hopefully next week will have lots more, and Trevor took picks of everything. We had a fab day, lots to see, lots to chin wag about, good company, good food, what more can you ask for.

Fit to Live or Mid Life Crisis PT 2

2009-04-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Wrote this last night, because I have one of the pesky things that inhibits my creativity and life in general called a job, LOL

Alright I had a couple of comments on my blog, maybe because I’m not one for blogging and especially getting all warm and fuzzy and sharing, what can I say it’s a British thing. Had a good day, yesterday, went for a long walk with the kids to get some exercise had a light dinner. The whole idea behind making some healthy eating choices is not to do the dirty d-word. I have devised a plan, I have decided not to join a weight loss group, I am a grown arse woman who shouldn’t have to pay someone to tell me how I should be eating, I am fairly educated, fairly smart don’t include those brain fart moments that I have, they don’t count. Oh or the times I can’t remember where I parked my car, and the many times I have to check my phone to remember what my kids phone numbers are, that aside I am pretty smart, so why should I have to pay someone to check on me once a week. Well this is out, so is the Gym membership, my Golds’ Gym membership just ran out, and I am honest enough with myself to not fool myself into thinking that if I pay a fee each month I will be more inclined to go, funnily enough when I had a free membership when living on a military post, I went every day, so you would think that paying monthly fees would have been a no brainer and I would have gone regularly, but I didn’t and so I am being honest with myself to say, hey Tan forget the gym for now. What I have come up with is a Tanplan, I am going to try to make better food choice, cut down on breads and such, but if I want something nice I am going to have it, I’m just going to keep the proportions under control, I have created an imaginary bucket, that I will put imaginary Tan dollars into for good food choices, if I have some less than healthy choice then I have to take some out by way of getting off my backside and go for a walk or a bike ride. That’s it, that’s my whole plan; I’m staying to the KISS ideology Keep It Simple, Stupid.

So that’s the dirty d-word plan, I have been thinking about my life and the direction it has been taking lately and the rut that I have found myself in, so as I mentioned in yesterdays blog I had been thinking about goals and dreams, we all have them some are simple, some more complex so I’ve been working on my list of things I would like to accomplish – here it is:

1. Still would like to run away to London with my mate, and become backup singer for Wham. (They were very popular in England, so don’t judge, lol)

2. I would love to join a Gospel Choir

3. Would love to do some acting.

4. Have time to overhaul my two websites, there looking a bit pants

5. Start work on that t-shirt design business idea that I have.

6. Would love for Jason Statham to remember my address and come get me.

7. Want to look 30 when I turn 40 and just be in general good health.

This is actually a shortened list once I started to think about things I was gobsmacked to realize there are a bunch of things id love to have a go at, who knew that if you take a moment, whilst watching American Idol of course that we all have so many ideas that we shove down deep because of jobs, responsibilities and that horrible thing that happens to us as adults that we told to act our age and be realistic, so lets look at my shortened list. I may not do these things or others on my list, but I think its important to recognize our dreams and not just shove them into a dark and gloomy cupboard. Get yours out now people!!

Alright here are some initial thoughts on my short list:

1. Wham – oh what a gloomy day was that for me when they announced they were breaking up, but that is nothing to the break out news that George announced a few years later, don’t care though, I still love you George. So this is obviously not going to happen, but we had fun practicing it in my bedroom with our hairbrushes.

2. Gospel Choir – those that know me, may find this surprising, not only am I not religious, without wishing to offend and start a stewpot, to me religion (being raised as Church of England and then a few years as Jehovah’s Witness, to me religion is a way to tell you each week what a shitty person you are and you must change your ways or you going to die in a fiery blast of damnation. Without getting on my soap box, not had good experiences with religious as a child I felt they were dreary, depressing and a punishment, but when I moved to the states and we lived in the South, I saw a side of religion that I had never seen, the music was different, uplifting and looked enjoyable, unfortunately I still feel religion is an institution and I am not ready to be institutionalized. However, there are choirs that are not associated with certain religious groups, so this aspiration bares some further development. The other thing is its my understanding that this type of choir is mostly in the South and I live in Mormonville, so will keep working on that one.

3. Acting – I used to love drama school, my best mate only ever wanted to become an actor and so I did follow her along a lot of her escapades, she has so much natural talent that I always felt I could never compare, however, today a good friend also an actor was talking to me about an adult acting workshop she may be running, so again this is going onto my short list.

4. Website – I need to allocate some time each week to work on my hobby sites, they do bring in money and could bring in so much more if I dedicated time, and this is on my short list.

5. Business – I have lots of ideas for this, but I need to write it down and prepare a business plan, this is an attainable challenging goal that is definitely going on my short list.

6. Jason,” I AM LIVING IN SAINT GEORGE, UTAH COME GET ME WHEN YOU’RE READY, I CAN TRAVEL LIGHT”.

7. Age – I am working on this already with making some changes to lifestyle, I also believe that if your happy within your life and don’t carry stress and drama around you automatically look healthier, look around you, those that have lots of drama, stress etc usually look haggard. Let shit go, don’t drag crap around, have the issue, deal with the issue then let it go, life really is too short.

I am still waiting for anyone else to brave up and share their list, go on you will be surprised, just make sure that Jason isn’t on your list, I don’t want him getting confused and taking a detour on his way here.

Fit to Live or Mid Life Crisis

2009-04-28T06:43:00.001-07:00

Not sure were to start with this one, lately I have had some massive homesickness and have been trying to determine what the cause is, anyone that knows me knows that I am not that close to my family, (lots of drama, maybe I will share one day) so not sure why getting this feeling. I think I have narrowed it down a little, 1. Im approaching my 38th birthday and so am having a mid-life crisis, I have even been hankering over buying a new car, I believe this is one of the symptoms or 2. There have been lots of things going on in my life lately, lots of changes some good some not so good. I tend to think its the second, without going into details its been a stressful few months, new house, job changes, but I think everything came to a head for me a couple of weeks ago, something happened which made me take a hard look at myself, my life and my weight gain, my attitude in general. I have since decided to make some necessary changes, at first I was just going to lose a few pounds and get in some better shape, because holy cow the joints are starting to ache, I blame sitting at a desk all day. Anyway I digress after a couple of days dieting I had an epiphany, and yes I even know what that word means.

I realized that it’s not just about losing weight, you can lose weight and still not be happy and so I realized that I need to make some changes to every facet of my life, and no I am not losing the plot. There are certain things that right now I cannot change, I cannot change my job, not that I would want to, for all its bullcrap, I actually do enjoy it and let’s face it, its pretty much the same old same old wherever you go, but I can change my perspective on life. I have literally written down a couple of lists, one of things that I would like to do better in my life and one of goals and dreams that I have. I am not a bad person, but we all have tendencies to be selfish, cynical and involved in just staying ahead in life it is so easy to get caught up in the schedules of life, instead of stopping to literally smell the roses, but I realize that the past two years I have changed and I am not sure I like this new attitude and now is the time to not only lose some much needed weight, but change my whole attitude to life.

Now, on the dreams list, isn’t it strange how we push those to the side as we get (I hate to say the word older) but you know what I mean, when we were young we had fanciful dreams and goals, I myself along with my best mate Vicki were going to go to London meet Wham and impress them so much with our singing skills were going to replace their backup singers Shirley and Pepsi and then after a couple of records with Wham were going to break out on our own and be the next Banarama. (Please do not ask me who Wham or Banarama is? LOL go Google it) we practiced dance routines and sang into a hairbrush regularly in my attic bedroom. Don't laugh you know you have had crazy dreams too. What happened??

Ok so what is the point of all this or is Brit-Tan sipping at the booze as she is typing, the answer is no, I realized that I need to change my cynicism, try to treat people with a bit more compassion, I know I am notorious for having a suck it up and drive on attitude, I hate people that whine about their problems and don't do a damn thing about it, not sure that is going to change, but I am working on it, I want to get out more, join life instead of staying in this go to work, go home feed my face go to sleep rut. I want to be healthy, physically, mentally, financially and emotionally, isnt that what we all want, so why do we allow the rut to take over?

I have been working on a list of things I would like to accomplish, I highly recommend you do it too and join me, we all want to make changes and I absolutely refuse to bottom feed anymore, I cannot change the past but I can make subtle changes now to be prepared for life in all areas. I have a business idea that I have been playing around with for months but had no marketing plan so I am going to get to work on that, it’s time to stop digressing and get to it. I am not dieting i have decided that the D-word is a dirty word and we should all throw that out of our vocabulary. Instead we should make healthy choice, and I will talk about what I am doing some more later.

What about you, what do you want to do, want to change? Make your list of things you would like to change, and things you would love to do but never had the courage to tell anyone, just to show you how serious I am I am going to document it, this is my commitment to making changes, stop bottom feeding, if I don't like something I am going to change it, if I want to do something I am going to have a go. Stay tuned and I am going to share my list, follow me on twitter twitter.com/Britztwit if you want to share this journey, why don't you join in, we all have things we want to do, things we wish we could share but are afraid too. Make your list lets make some changes and maybe have a laugh along the way.

Recommending a Realtor - Nate Shaw

2009-02-12T09:06:00.000-08:00

Most of you know that I am buying a house, and due to recent actions made by my realtor I was inspired to write about him. Nathan Shaw who works at ERA has been so much fun to work with, he has been patient with us throughout and made this whole process as stress free as he could, not only did we negotiate an incredible deal, but he has continued to keep fighting for us to get an even better deal when we had not even asked for it. Not only did we get a good reduced price, and closing costs but this weekend he went out on a limb and negiotiated us a new roof. We had never asked for this but he decided to go out on his own and try to get us the best deal he could and was successful.

I would recommend him to anyone who is wanting to purchase a house, he is friendly, has your back and will provide you with excellent service. His name is Nathan Shaw he works at ERA and here is his number 435-229-2365 tell him Tanya sent you. You won't be sorry.

2009-01-19T06:47:00.000-08:00

WE GOT OUR HOUSE !!!!

It was a busy weekend for us, we took Ashlin and some friends out to Jumping Jacks, it was a her 15 th birthday last Monday, we took them out to eat and then went to see a movie. Mall Cop, its a very funny movie I highly recommend it.

The big news though is that after looking at many many houses, we are finally under contract, we have been searching since October and the problem that we have encountered is that most houses are short sales, which seems at first like a goldmine, but when you look into them further there almost a bait and switch con. The owner who cannot afford payments any longer tries to sell the house below value, sometimes to get a bidding war going or to just try an unload it, the problem with that is that most of the banks holding the mortgage have not approved this sell price so if you put an offer in, you have to wait for the bank to get back to within any time frame they want to say yes or no. I have a friend who was purchasing one and a few days before closing they tried to up the price, I have heard that this is not unusual, this defintely sounds like a bait and switch. So after a few offers that we have put in with banks to which only one answered back and countered at 50,000 more than the house was listed for, we finally found a house that has real people selling, I am really happy that they accepted our offer, it was touch and go with their counter and then our counter back, but we ended up with a 5 bedroom 3 bathroom house that backs onto Bloomington Park its a tad under 3000 square feet, so we have tons of room, which will be so nice, it is move in ready, but there are a couple of updating project we want to do before we move in. So now we have one stress out the way, next comes inspections.

2009-01-07T08:14:00.000-08:00

It's 2009, oh my goodness where did the last year go? Well it was a busy year for me, so much that I haven't had the time to do some of the things that I would like. One of those is to keep up with my blog, my friends at work have been moaning to me that I never update this thing. They are right, but my problem is that I never really have anything to say, what does one blog about. The only people I associate with are the people I work with and they know pretty much everything that is going on in my life because as I am sure they will be the first to tell you is that I like to share and can't keep my big fat trap shut. My family isn't big on communication or computers so there is no point in me updating whats going on with the kids and my family. So..... what to talk about?? I guess I can blog today on not having a subject to blog about, this way I can kill two birds with one stone, I have updated my blog so my friends won't be able to comment on my lack of blogging skills and I have a topic to blog about. I am still trying to think of any news that no one knows, I am in the process of trying to buy a house, nope they know about that. My girls are trying to learn new instruments, the drums and guitar, nope they know that already. OK how about this, I was born a man, Tim isn't really my husband its my real identity, lol. So here you are Ness, my updated blog about having nothing to blog about. Oh and congratulations on the engagement. I wish everyone a great 2009 as I probably won't have anything to blog about until next year, but we can all live in hope.

My Hometown

2008-10-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

Anyone that knows me knows that im English but now reside in the States. Whilst growing up in a small mining town of Hucknall, Nottingham I don't think I ever really appreciated my surroundings and the large amount of history that surrounded me. Like most people I had the opinion that my home town was boring and yearned for exotic adventures to far away places. Where I know that I am very lucky to have been able to travel and visit and live in many different countries, I cannot help often feeling homesick even after the many years that I have left home. Whilst Googling my home town the other day I was surprised to find something very interesting that I was able to post on my website, if your interested in seeing feel free to check it out: http://www.britishmovieclassics.com/movieblog.php

Besides this information I never really appreciated that the main church that is on our market square and that I passed by almost everyday and never gave a second glance is over 600 years old I was lucky enough to be married in it though or that Lord Byron, who I did visit his ancestral home, Newstead Abbey many times, but I never appreciated the history of having that person probably walk or ride along the same routes that I did, his heart is buried under the floor of the alter in the church. I worked for a couple who lived in the house that Eric Coates, the famous composer who is responsible for writing the theme tune for the movie Dam Busters. At the time when they would tell me that they lived in his house I kind of thought so what. The bare knuckled fighter Ben Caunt was also a local celebrity, I believe his grave stone is situated in the local church, St Mary Magdalene Church.

Whats the point in all this? Nothing really, but I guess im trying to get across that sometimes we spend so much time looking over the fence at the grass on the other side, that we never truly appreciate what we have around us. I love living in the States and I love alot of the history, but I cant help but kick myself in the butt when I think of the British long history and how I never appreciated it because it was always there, in the states there are historical buildings and stories but nothing that dates back as far as the British Empire.

So its clear that todays lessons is to appreciate what you have, you may think your hometown is boring, but I bet if you did some digging, you just might find something that surprises you.

2008-09-30T15:36:00.001-07:00

DOCUMENTARY FASHION HOUR

All is quiet on the western front these days, and things are looking up!!!

Look who was all looking fabulous at work the other day, oh what I meant to say was look who was looking fabulous on their lunch break, and not company time. You go sista's,

One of those Weeks

2008-09-12T13:19:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have one of those weeks, when you just wish you could hide under the covers and never come out. Its been one of those for me, it seems everywhere I turn, I am being blamed, accused and gossiped about. This all came to head this week when a client at the company that I work for decided to make comments on a site about his experience, and where I have no problem with that, all companies have clients that become unhappy, in this case I had dealt with this client who did not feel he should have to pay for hosting, I refunded his money because his behaviour was totally out of control, he knew what he knew and nothing I said was going to make any difference and closed his account down, he was still unhappy with that and felt he should have his hosting for free. So this idiot has felt the need to not only write his report about how bad our company is, but has named me specifically, taken something I said to him, twisted it around to suit his complaint.

The problem I have with that is that I am flaming hard working honest person, I help people out when I can. I cannot wave a magic wand, I am not responsible for everything, I can only do what I can do, and when I tried to explain to this client that he had his facts wrong and tried to point him in the right direction I guess he felt it was ok to slander my name on the Internet, along with the company I work for. To single a hard working person out specifically who is only trying to do her job is just mean and vindictive. The bad thing is he posted it anonymously. HEY GUY, YOU HAD THE GUTS TO MENTION MY NAME, GROW SOME BALLS BE A MAN AND PUT YOUR NAME UP THERE WITH IT.

Why do people feel its ok to blog and slander people online, why do they never take any responsibility for their own actions but would rather blame other people for their own failures, if I have a bad experience with a company I would mention the company, but never individuals who are only trying to earn a living and pay the bills.

Well that is how my week is going, thank goodness today is Friday, but alas Monday will be here all too soon.

Omni Business Solutions

2008-09-03T15:26:00.000-07:00

Omni Business Solutions

I am originally from the UK but live and work in the US now and have done for roughly 12 years, I am a military wife and although that life can be hard and lonely at times, I am so proud of my husband and all that the Army has provided for us that I wouldn't change a thing. We are currently living in St George, Utah and I work for a wonderful company, Omni Business Solutions. Lately there have been a lot of accusations and mis-information floating around the web, alas, the downside to the Internet that has come from disgruntled employees who instead of taking the responsibility for their own actions have decided that their best revenge is to blog and submit articles to Rip Off Report to try and kill the business, taking not only the owner Jeremy Cobb, Omni Business Solutions, but also to try and kill the current employees jobs as well. By trying to seek revenge they haven't given one thought to the many other employees whose livelyhood depends on their jobs. So I have something to state about Omni Business Solutions. Having worked in many different countries and for different companies, I have to say that Omni Business Solutions, is by far, the best I have ever worked for, I actually feel like a valued employee, a rare thing these days. Omni Business Solutions provides training to clients who want to learn how to build their own sites and make money from it as well. Does this program work, there are many reports out there with claims that it doesn't, but let me stress, anyone that doesn't follow the program or put in the time and work, obviously will not make any money. As long as you follow the program and continue to work on your website this program will work. I myself have a site using their Omni Builder (www.britishmovieclassics.com) that not only gets regular visitors, but makes an income too. How do I do this, well let me tell you, its with hard work and dedication, its a business and as such I treat it as such, I make sure I have the research, follow the guidelines and keep updating it regularly. I don't expect to put in minimum effort and have maximum gain. So is Omni Business Solutions a scam? The answer is a big fat NO, but this is training for a new business venture and as such has to be respected as such, you cannot start a business and have no idea on what the business is going to be, or create a business and then not maintain and upgrade it, how would a store be if you never restocked your items or just kept the store empty because you had no idea what to put on the shelves.

Why do I care what people are writing about Omni Business Solutions?? I care because this is a good company and there are a lot of good people who work here, our boss Jeremy Cobb is probably the best person I have had the privilege of working for, I have never worked for anyone who cares and looks out for his employees as he does. Omni Business Solutions works very hard to support clients and fix their issues as quickly as we can. Are we perfect, no, but we give 100 percent everyday.

Its my opinion that most reports out their about experiences with Omni Business Solutions usually stem from the fact that a client did not put forth the effort to his business and would rather blame Omni Business Solutions than admit that they didn't do the work or follow the program. As for a couple of rotten eggs (employees) by blogging incorrect and malicious information, you have only proven to me that your being let go for inappropriate behavior is validated more by your recent actions.